The Stress of Clutter and the Stress of Having the Organizer Come

by Cary Farrell

July 22, 2019

Stress and anxiety can debilitate us or cause us to back out of commitments or plans.Most often stress comes from the unknown or from a negative experience or feeling overwhelmed for a long time.  I stress out over going to the dentist because I had a bad experience as a child.  I would rather give birth then see a dentist.  I am a good candidate for sedation dentistry!  Most if not all of my clients experience stress from their clutter and the overwhelming feeling that looking at it or trying to work around it causes them.  However calling an organizer and asking for help is stressful as well.  Most of my clients greet me at the door with, I’m sorry it is so bad and I am so embarrassed for you to see it but I need help!  I do my best to reassure them that nothing surprises me because I don’t see the clutter, I see the potential that their home has to become the functional haven of rest that they need.

Although the stress of the clutter is great, some of my clients will allow the stress of having me come cause them to cancel their appointment.  It is really hard to fight that fear and anxiety of what an organizing session will be like. They haven’t been successful in getting organized on their own and they cannot conceive of what I am going to do that will be different so that they can feel successful.  Facing their “failed” attempts to get organized on their own overshadows what they have been successful in.  We do not all have the same giftings and being organized or being able to make decisions are not any better than the giftings that they have.  The good news is that basic organizing skills and decisions can be learned!  

More often than not my clients ARE organized they just have too much to keep up with!  Our unrealistic expectation of what we should be able to handle wrecks havoc on our confidence to be organized!  One client recently felt that she was not “normal” because she couldn’t seem to keep the house in order.  I reassured her that it is not about being “normal” but about learning the balance for her and what she can handle.  In our overabundance society our homes and lives are filled to the brim with things, memories and activities.  

I recently heard a comedian talk about how picture crazy our society is even to the point of not getting to enjoy the event because we are so busy taking pictures!  Then we fill  our homes, computers and photo albums with all of the pictures.  But  because we have so many we don’t have time to sit and enjoy them.  There are too many.  We struggle to live today much less relive all of our history!  Think about how many pictures and videos you have and how little time you spend enjoying them.  There are always exceptions to this but I would say that most of us don’t have time.